finally, it's fucking football time. the first of sixteen parts of my personal take on the upcoming nfl season is here. when it's all done, it'll be aggregated and posted. and as the season progresses, i reserve the right to go back and change this- who'll know that i was ever wrong?
NFC North
1. Green Bay--the out-and-out favorites for this season. the boys are back in town, gentlemen. and those boys have better toys and healthier bodies than they did last year. oh, and a cohesive unit on BOTH sides of the ball, on the field and in the booth. that goes miles and miles, especially when the rest of the division has seen huge upheavals in personnel and staff in the last few years. the packers ranked 7th in total offense, 6th in the passing game, and 11th on the ground and return that same weaponry (except for donald lee, but finley and quarless are still on the roster). the packers run away with the division, hands down. icing on the cake? they're tied for 13th strongest schedule, just below minnesota and well below detroit. really, the only two games i see them losing are at atlanta in week 5, and at home against nawlens in the opener. i'll throw in the upset in kansas city in week 15, but really that's stretching it in my mind. so let's say 13-3.
2. Vikings-- oh, donovan mcnabb. this name alone gives me some confidence in my beloved vikes. not much, though. mcnabb has most recently earned/been assigned the reputation of "lazy fuck" along with fellow redskin alumnus albert haynesworth- a reputation that he has stressed that he wants to shed. that said, this is the same vikings team that chilly managed to somehow run into the ground (imagine a world where he didn't make the stupid fucking moss trade). it's his first (only?) year with a new coach, a new system- i doubt he will be able to integrate very fluidly. as far as the receivers go, sidney rice is gone to seattle, so the young wide-out talent lies mostly with the injury-prone harvin (god, that's so depressing) and the former sooner iglesias (who was hot/cold in norman). the additions are mediocre at best. the defense is generally meh, but in a love-to-rush nfc north, the front line looks promising: jared allen, remi ayodele, kevin williams. i'm not expecting much out of them, but i do see them splitting the series with chicago and edging them out for the second spot in the north. 9-7.
3. Bears--two words: jay motherfuckin cutler. this dude (along with, amusingly enough, kyle motherfuckin orton) is the quarterback equivalent of katy perry's "hot and cold". he has two settings: touchdowns or interceptions. period. that's why he was traded from denver (that, and being a whiny man-child), and he performed remarkably the same in chicago- except, he had a better receiving corps and a tight end called greg olsen. the biggest problem other than cutler is the o-line. they lost the center kreutz to free agency and the saints, and have turned it over to garza- who is a little bit on the aged side. despite the retooling, this line gave up NINE FUCKING SACKS against the BUFFALO BILLS whose defense was 25th in the league in pass defense. 8-8.
4. Lions--the perennial bottom-feeders of the nfc north. Don't get me wrong, the lions have great talent, and jim schwartz has some guile. and stafford has a cannon. but the fatal flaw in the team, as i see it, is their almost mystical ability to go down with injury. stafford hasn't played a full season, and has only played 16 games in two years in the league. nick fairley is down with a foot injury (not to mention i'm leery of his one standout year at auburn), leshoure is out with a RUPTURED ACHILLES... it's rough for those poor, millen-smitten felines. combine all of this with their tie for third-strongest strength of schedule (though the toughest non-division games are generally at home), and i'm not envisioning a great year. not saying it's going to be as bad as their gopher year (which i distinctly remember us lampooning all season), but things aren't looking up for them. i'd say 5-11.
